it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
