Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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