Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
