just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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