My brain says no but my pants say off.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
