you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
the gays at disneyland are vicious
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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