Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are two peas in an std pod
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
