May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
