The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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