when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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