yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
