She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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