You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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