Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
