How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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