I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
