You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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