i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
