Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
