well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
