Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
