there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
