Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
