hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
