Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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