I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
