There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
