whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Quick, to the slutcave!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
