you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
