So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
