I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
