Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
