yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
