What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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