Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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