If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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