Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Screwed.edu
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
