my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
