you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
