beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
