Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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