so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Its about making memories worth repressing
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
