There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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