you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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