I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
