My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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