wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
