I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
