You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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