Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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