You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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