his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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