she told me i tasted like america
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize