your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
