There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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