based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You are the jesus of drinking
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
