I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
