ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
