You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
