Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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